Lawn Party
by VioletStella
Summary: Carolyn goes to the ball, but doesn't lose a slipper.  Spoilers for "Medicine Ball".


It's always bothered me that the Captain dances by himself in "Medicine Ball". I know it's Carolyn's hallucination and of course no one was dancing with anyone, there is just something here that needs further exploration.

Yes, I have rewritten the end of "Medicine Ball", please don't hurt me.

Lawn Party

Carolyn's rest was disturbed by the haunting melody permeating the air. Curious as to where the music was coming from she rose from the bed to investigate. Martha wouldn't be listening to music, would she? Surely she would be thoughtful enough to keep the house as quiet as possible, and it didn't sound like anything the kids would be listening to. The lighting fixtures had changed, she noted in a vague sort of way. Walking into the hallway, the house was dark and still, she seemed to be the only one awake.

She followed the sound of the waltz down the stairs; it was calling her outside, beckoning her to join in the dance. The lyrics wafted through her mind with each step of her descent, _"__we __meet __again, __my __heart__ skips __a__ beat__ and__ then,__"_ that was certainly true; her heart did have a tendency to skip beats when the Captain was around. Was he around right now? She didn't see him, but that didn't necessarily mean anything.

"_Goes__ down __to__ defeat__ again __in __willing__ surrender. __In __your __eyes __I__ see__ old__ memories __rise__…__,__"_ definitely willingly surrendered from almost the moment she met him. She lost the train of thought as she noticed more candlelight fixtures. Opening the front door she saw the scene the Captain had described to her earlier; paper lanterns, an orchestra, women in ball gowns. Apparently the Captain's power of suggestion was very strong. She was surprised and confused, but willing to participate. Closing the door, she turned to go upstairs to find something more appropriate to wear.

While contemplating what she could possibly have to wear to such an event she brought her hand to her face and found a fan had manifested there. She looked down to see she was now wearing a ball gown. '_Just__ call__ me__ Cinderella_,' flitted across her mind. She was going to have to send her unknown fairy godmother a thank you note.

Following a servant outside she took a closer look at the party. It was indeed a romantic sight, with couples swirling across the lawn. The warm night air and starlight added to the serenity of the evening. She paused on the porch to drink in the beauty of the moment. It was perfect, right down to the heart shaped woodwork on the gazebo. One more snippet of the lyric graced her thoughts, _"__I__ know__ you__ by__ heart__ as__ though__ our __love__ had__ always__ been.__" _ Maybe it had always been and they would finally be together.

If this was what life was like a hundred years ago she was even more sorry for the current state of her relationship with the Captain. She regretted snapping at him earlier in the day. It wasn't his fault they were born so far apart. A burst of anger had possessed her and she took it out on him. He made the party sound so nice and she was jealous she hadn't, nor would she ever; dance with him under the starlight. She'd have to apologize to him tomorrow.

She noticed everyone, Martha, Claymore, the kids; even Scruffy. But where was the person she wanted to see the most; the Captain? He couldn't be at sea because he certainly couldn't host a party from thousands of miles away. She searched the dancing couples, relieved he wasn't dancing with another woman.

She was so lost in these thoughts that she hadn't noticed someone was trying to get her attention until a hand touched hers.

"Mrs. Gregg."

Mrs. Gregg? The surprises just kept coming. Although the appellation was a shock to her she hid it well and smiled as though this were nothing new to her. Unless this was their wedding reception, in which case she should smile more. Was it their wedding reception? She had no idea. Martha's intonation in addressing her as Mrs. Gregg didn't denote anything new, so she had to surmise this was not their wedding reception.

Martha continued not noticing that Mrs. Gregg was not really paying attention to her.

"It's a nice night for a party, isn't it?"

Carolyn managed to turn her focus enough to answer her, "yes, we were lucky the nice weather held." Discussing the weather; that was nice, safe, unlikely to cause any gaffe from which she would have to recover.

"You look beautiful Mrs. Gregg. Your eyes are sparkling even more than they usually do, and that's saying something. You must be very happy he's home safe and sound again."

Her eyes sparkled? Did they sparkle in this time? Or did she mean they sparkled in 1969? Martha wouldn't notice any sparkling eyes, would she? No, she couldn't, she wouldn't have any reason to suspect anything.

She cleared her head, "Of course, I'm very happy he's home. I've missed him so." That was true enough in any time period. There were times when she wondered what life would have been like if they had been together in his lifetime. Would she have been strong enough to continually send him off not knowing if he would come back to her? In times of doubt she would tell herself that no, she didn't have the strength. Then she would tell herself to stop being silly because it wasn't a circumstance she was going to have to confront; ever.

She admired the women of the 19th century for their fortitude in sending their men off to uncertain fates; their lives were precarious and unsettled. One unlucky twist of the rudder and stood between them and ruin. Women of the 19th century didn't have the resources or opportunities that she had had when the rudder disappeared from her own life. A grieving widow a hundred years earlier was often destitute and without options. Although she doubted the Captain would leave her penniless, the loss of him was something that made her heart ache every time the thought crossed her mind.

Why were her thoughts so morose at a party? She had to enjoy this moment while she could, it certainly wouldn't last forever.

She gave her full attention to Martha, "you look lovely."

"Thank you, Mrs. Gregg," she lowered her voice so only Carolyn could hear her, "here comes that odious Miss Garson. The way she throws herself at the Captain I'm surprised you even invited her. I'll take care of her." She turned to the odious Miss Garson, all smiles, "good evening, welcome to Gull Cottage," and walked the odious Miss Garson to a corner of the dance floor and practically pushed her into Mr. Simmons waiting arms. He was not unhappy about this turn of events.

Carolyn bit her lip to keep from laughing out loud. Leave it to Martha to take out the trash. This once again left her alone and searching for the Captain. Looking around she saw Claymore, hoping that he would know where the Captain was she made her way over to him. "Claymore, I'm so happy to see you." Claymore barely acknowledged her presence as he had noticed the widow Coburn across the way. "Excuse me Aunt Carolyn; I feel it's my duty as a relative of the hosts to make all the guests feel welcome."

Carolyn was bemused. Yes, of course it was Claymore's role to make all the wealthy widows feel welcome. She smiled and shook her head. Claymore didn't change no matter what the date was on the calendar. Alone again she continued to look for…her husband. Husband. The concept had felt so abstract when Martha addressed her as Mrs. Gregg. Husband. Here, now, he was her husband. She let herself revel in that thought for a beautiful moment. It felt so right. Joy pervaded her soul as she gazed around the party. They were here together at Gull Cottage and everything was perfect. Well, perfect except for the fact that he still seemed to be invisible; and that really this was nothing but a dream. For at some point she recognized that this was a dream; this made her even more determined to enjoy every second of it. This also made the Captain's absence even more frustrating. What if she woke up from this dream without seeing him at all?

She looked around for him once more, this time noticing Jonathan and Candy dancing across the way. Candy seemed to be in total command of the situation, enjoying every flutter of her skirt, every dance step she took; she always did have a flair for the romantic and dramatic. Jonathan looked disinterested at best. She smiled and secured the scene in her maternal heart.

The kids abruptly stopped dancing, found Scruffy and ran over to their mother. She knelt down to hug them. They paused for the briefest of hugs before running to the carriage for a ride around the park. "The Captain promised us, Mother. A ride just for the sake of riding makes me feel so grown up," Candy effused on her way to the gate.

Understanding, Carolyn smiled at her children as the carriage pulled away. There really was nothing like pointless parading around; with a footman, no less, to make one feel grown up.

Carolyn was now bewildered and once again alone. This was starting to get vexing. He had to be here somewhere, didn't he? She turned around, worry starting to cross her features. Worry that turned to very pleasant surprise, "Captain…" she couldn't even finish the sentence. So much that she could not express was coursing through her heart and soul. She wanted to tell him how happy she was that they were having this time together, but of course she couldn't. She looked into his eyes losing herself in the love she saw there. It was wonderful and tragic at the same time. How was she ever going to go back to their daily existence after this?

"Darling, is there something wrong?"

That man's voice sent chills through her in any time period.

A smile lilted its way onto her face, "no, not now. I…didn't know where you were."

"In the kitchen, attending to party details, and now that those details are resolved I can devote myself to you. What a lovely sight you are."

Her smile somehow grew bigger. She was going to treasure this night for the rest of her life. She pushed away those nagging thoughts of 'it's just a dream', 'you'll wake up soon', 'he won't remember this'; nothing was allowed to mar the beauty of this evening.

"Wonderful party, Captain." A voice invaded her reverie, testing her mental fortitude.

"Thank you."

Was that her doctor? What was he doing in her dream? Dismissing him as a little in joke by her subconscious she turned back to the Captain. Leave it to reality to intrude at the worst possible moment; she mentally banished the doctor to the darkest corner of the party.

The music ended and Claymore escorted the wealthy widow Coburn to the refreshments. Carolyn made small talk with her as befitted the mistress of Gull Cottage and the couple soon left to promenade; for which Carolyn was eternally grateful, she hated small talk. But she loved the attention she was accorded as Mrs. Gregg. Being Mrs. Gregg touched her soul with a warmth she wanted to bask in forever.

She smiled at him in a way that would put a newlywed to shame. If any guests required the attention of the hosts they were going to have to survive without it because the hosts were rather inattentive to the party for the time being. He picked up her hand and kissed it, "tonight I am enjoying the advantage of being envied by every man present."

He kissed her hand and she was inwardly reeling. He'd touched her, it was so unexpected and she was unprepared. A touch, a kiss; it may not be unusual for them in 1869, but it floored 1969 Carolyn. His words melted through her soul blending their two hearts together. She was speechless as he escorted her to the dance floor. His hand was holding hers; this minor bit of decorum, so unnoticed by everyone else was turning her world upside down.

He placed his hand at her waist and she had to grasp his arm to steady herself from the shock it sent through her. She was fortunate her unsteadiness was covered by the normal act of preparing to dance.

The music started and she forgot everything as they waltzed. If there was anyone else there, neither one noticed. She was in his arms. This was Heaven, it had to be. Maybe she really did have the ague and she'd died and they were together. If this was the afterlife she was more than happy to stay here. She smiled at him, her eyes sparkling even more than when Martha had noted it earlier. Joy, bliss, and happiness all rolled into one had nothing on what she was feeling right now. This was a love that transcended all, a love that never had a chance to be shared as it was at this moment. He was correct in his earlier pronouncement; the waltz was definitely the dance of romance.

He stopped dancing, a silent question was asked and a silent answer given. They leaned in to each other. This was not a once in a lifetime opportunity for Mrs. Gregg, but 1969 Carolyn was going to savor every second of this kiss. Their eyes closed, she willed him closer; longing for his touch, anticipating the inevitability of the kiss when she heard Claymore shout, "Mrs. Coburn!" Oh no no no, not fair. They were married; they should be allowed to have this moment.

Mrs. Coburn? What did that bitch want now? And why couldn't Claymore fawn over her enough to take care of whatever the problem was by himself? Now the Captain would go back to being the proper host and take charge of the situation. She was angry, confused and bereft. People were muttering about the ague, she repeated the word as though she'd never heard it before.

From behind her she heard a voice calling for "Mrs. Muir." Why was anyone using that name here? Who was calling her 'Mrs. Muir'? What happened to 'Mrs. Gregg'? She'd loved hearing 'Mrs. Gregg'; it resonated so true to her. She fought to stay where she was but felt herself being pulled away through a veil of dancing couples, the music becoming a jumbled cacophony instead of structured notes. Suddenly the party was gone and everything was dark. She opened her eyes to see Martha comforting her. The irony was especially bitter; she wouldn't need comforting if Martha hadn't pulled her away at the worst moment.

She sighed, heavily, disappointment on every feature of her face and in her very being. She would never feel the joy of being in his arms nor would anyone ever call her 'Mrs. Gregg' again.

Later that morning she was seated in the kitchen. The doctor had pronounced her well; but he could do nothing to cure the ache in her soul. She was barely civil to him. He left and the Captain appeared, she envied him his complete ignorance of last night's events. She listened to his confession about the medicine. She should have been furious with him, but the only anger she could muster up this morning was the anger at having a dream crushed.

"And now that you are fully recovered, I trust that you'll forgive me," he finished.

"I do, Captain." I do? She inwardly berated herself for the choice of words, _'__more__ salt__ for__ that__ wound,__ Carolyn?__'_ Outwardly she excused his meddling, what else could she do? Most of it was a very nice experience.

"Do you know why?" She continued.

"Because I cured you." What other answer could there possibly be?

"No," she struggled to say, it came out as little more than a whisper as she was straining so hard to keep her heart from breaking any more, "because you waltz so beautifully." She turned away leaving him perplexed. She regretted saying anything as he would certainly want to know the details. Really, he had a right to know the details and she very much wanted to share them with him; but what was the point? So the both of them could share in the disappointment? Besides, it exposed a little too much of her heart and it was something she wanted to keep private for now. She'd said too much already.

She stood up to bring her coffee cup to the sink, "I'm sorry I was curt with you yesterday."

"No matter."

He glimpsed the sadness in her eyes as she turned away. Catching that this conversation was closed the Captain could only hope that at some future time she would elaborate on his waltzing skills.

As she was rinsing out the cup Carolyn thought that someday she was going to have to find out the ingredients to the Willow Bark Golden Elixir. Hopefully a second dose would produce the same hallucination; with a better ending.

Post script: To me "Medicine Ball" can be split into two episodes:

1. Carolyn is invisible to all but the Captain

2. Carolyn dreams she is married to the Captain, because really, isn't there an episode covering that? And if not, why not? Cliché perhaps, but so is adapting "A Christmas Carol" and that turned out rather well.

I hope you liked the trip down the second path. Perhaps someday the muse will send me more than just a glimmer for the first.


End file.
